What is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a gentler, quicker, and cost-efficient alternative to the family court system for families that are separating to arrange finances, and child custody. Some families return to mediation to address new concerns down the road, and mediation is also utilized by any family members, friends or acquaintances that require support with working out issues. This can include adult siblings, parents and adult children, friends, neighbours, etc.

Mediation vs. Family Court

How Does Family Mediation Work?

As your mediator, I will meet with each party individually for a 30-minute “intake session” where I will explain the guidelines and we will get to know each other. These sessions are confidential so I will not discuss anything disclosed in these sessions with the other party. If all parties agree to proceed, I will begin joint sessions with all parties where I will create a “to-do” list compiled of all the items to be agreed upon.

During the joint sessions I will take notes and record your progress. I am specially trained to support parties in conflict to come to agreements together versus imposing solutions on you. Mediators have no authority to make decisions for their clients; I am more of a guide to help you along the path toward solutions. Once all the issues are resolved, I will complete a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which contains all the agreements made by the parties and provide each a copy. This document is not legally binding. The parties will then send the MOU to their lawyers for review. Once both lawyers have reviewed, and everyone agrees, the MOU is sent to the court, and an order is issued in its place. The court order is legally binding. Parties can return to mediation at any time if the terms of their agreement are not working or a new issue arises that was never addressed.

If there are any safety concerns or one party is on a no-contact order (sometimes called a “Peace Bond”, or “Restraining Order”), I facilitate what is called shuttle-mediation, where the joint sessions are held online and the parties are kept in different “rooms”. I then go between each room to speak with each party individually, but during the same session. Read more about the mediation process and the difference between open and closed mediation here:

Mediation Process - Ontario Association of Family Mediators

Frequently Asked Questions

1) Do I still need a lawyer if I am in mediation?

Lawyers are not required during the mediation process however I recommend that all parties retain independent legal counsel (ILC) to review the MOU once mediation is complete.

2) If I do have a lawyer, can they attend the joint sessions?

Yes, if you have retained a family lawyer, they can attend the sessions. However, in this economy, my goal is to save families money, so remember that if you bring your lawyer to joint sessions you will have to pay for both services vs. just mine. There is no risk of being taken advantage of or agreeing to something you shouldn’t during mediation if you come alone since the MOU is not legally binding. When you have your lawyer review it post mediation they will advise you if anything should be changed.

3) Should we bring our children to mediation?

Currently, I do not offer child inclusive mediation. Please arrange for childcare so you can attend the sessions with a clear mind.

4) Separation and divorce are emotionally difficult. What if I am too upset or angry to participate?

Emotional outbursts are common in mediation, this is normal. I am trained to help you stay calm and focused on the task at hand. That said, I recommend that all my clients enter therapy during divorce and separation for support in wading through the heavy emotions of this challenging time.

5) Can a mediator give me legal advice?

No. I am not a lawyer so I cannot give you legal advice. Even if a lawyer is providing mediation services they cannot give legal advice. One person is not permitted to offer both services simultaneously.

6) Can I audio or video record the sessions?

No recording of any kind is permitted in mediation.

7) Is mediation only for traditional families? I/we are members of the LGBTQ2+ community, can we utilize mediation?

Of course! Mediation is inclusive of everyone, it is not only for traditional families.

8) My ex-partner and I were common-law, can we still use mediation to build a parenting plan for our children?

Yes. You did not have to be legally married to attend mediation.

9) The other parent lives in a different province or country. Can we utilize mediation?

Yes. Sessions for parties that live out-of-province/country are held online but a parenting plan can still be constructed in mediation.